How many zeros are in a billion? This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of it's releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959
B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive
C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age
D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet
E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it

While this thought is still fresh in our brain....let's take a look at

New Orleans...It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking Congress for $250,000,000,000 (that is 250 BILLION DOLLARS) to rebuild New Orleans.

Interesting number...what does it mean?

A. Well.... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (that is every man, woman, & child) each one would get $516,528. So, if you are a family of four...your family would get $2,066,012.

B. Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, each home would get $1,329,787.
Washington, D.C. -- HELLO! Are all your calculators broken?? Thanks to our 'politicians', we now have:

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax <>

I got this from my brother today - ingenious - of course it would never happen because our politicians want us to be indebted to them!!!!
I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG….Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend .

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+. I figure our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free…So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.

Based on that, every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes, which in turn sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. But is also means every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket! A husband and wife has $595,000.00! What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
Repay college lo ans – what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college – it'll be there
Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car – create jobs
Invest in the market – capital drives growth
Pay for your parent's medical insurance – health care improves
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.=0 A

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out
a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President. If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's do it right and bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG? – Simple: liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate, and let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up for all of us.

Here's my rationale.&n bsp;We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."…but can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party we'd have - it's just what this country needs! Besides, can you spell "Economic Boom"? I certainly trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use their $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

And remember, my plan only really only costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Did you know that the capital of Nevada (Carson City) is west of Los Angeles? True...

This is an absolute career killer!

This is weird...watch as the car takes it's last turn. The camera man caught what really looks to be a ghost on film. You can hear there reaction in the background. The entire production moved to another location to film.

This is Cool! How do they do it?

This is Cool! How do they do it?

This is really amazing: Music soothes the savage beast!

Click here: How to Sing Puppies to Sleep - Video

A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study by the American Medical Association found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
This means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind of makes you proud to be an American.

I'm a fan of origions and useless info....hope you like it!

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to
beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have
"the rule of thumb"
-------------------------------------------
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
-------------------------------------------
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
-------------------------------------------
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs i n
the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in
the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep
tight."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a
month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his
son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and
because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the
honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
"Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into
the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,
they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the
phrase inspired by this practice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Believe it or not, you can read this:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll
raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not
r aed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

This one is off color.... but priceless! Rated R

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Okay...How much do I love this.....

This is one of the kindest things I've ever read. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month.

The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her.

I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick. I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her. You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love,

Meredith.

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed,

"To Meredith ,"

in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, "When a Pet Dies." Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away. Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by. Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I' m easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,

God

To all my female friends who just can't seem to find a guy...hmmmm...

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice', she thinks, 'but I want more.'So she continues upward.
The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE NOTE:To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.The first floor has wives that love sex.The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

This should come in handy....

5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do

For all the folks with cell phones.
(This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.)
There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.
Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.
Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST Emergency The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112.
If you find Yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlockedOur car over a cell phone!'

THIRD Hidden Battery PowerImagine your cell battery is very low.
To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.

FOURTH How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.
If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Finally....FIFTH Free Directory Service for Cell phones.
Companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800)FREE411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now

How does your head feel?

Here's why you should be using an ear bud... bud!
Time will tell.

Click here: YouTube - WHO CAN EXPLAIN ?????

A friend I go camping with has a buddy who filmed this. It proves that sometimes negative attention is better than no attention at all. One of my favorites. Thanks Stan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OStX_wrWGg

That's where I live Port of Call Bayonne New Jersey....don't ask.

I never meant to love her. Life has a funny way of creeping up on you. Lost her in April.

I miss my buddy Madison, Guess I always will.

Reflextions on tubing..... not so bad.

Hudson river far enough north that we can be the only ones considered floaters.

Here's a quick flick of me engaged in Aquatic activity just so there would be proof!

I've decided to start challenging myself physically as I have turned into a gelatinous lump years of late. First attempt, "knee-boarding", which in my case became "belly-boarding" as I find I don't have the upper body strength to pull myself up on to the board. At least I gave it a shot!

And so it begins....

I guess the is the new albeit exhibitionistic format of journal keeping. Basicly I will just be pouring into it the contents of endless inner dialogue. Maybe you will find something of interest.